Eulogy given by Don Kuchenski

At the beginning of his eulogy, Don Kuchenski took pictures of everyone in the crowd, the way we all know Jay would have done.

Here are those pictures:

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Jay Denison

Memories of Jay by Bob, Don, & Steve Kuchenski

About 23 years ago in high school I answered the phone, the caller asked for me and I replied “This is Don.” Now I had never met or talked with the caller, but caller introduced himself as Jay, and said: “I’m just started attending the high school group. Do you want to do something tonight?” That was Jay – always straight forward & to the point, you never had to guess what he was thinking. Jay was bold, not timid.

When I look back over Jay's life, two things stand out. He loved God and he loved people.

Going back to Jay's high school days, I saw a young man who was challenged by adversity yet he found strength through his faith in Jesus Christ. He remained true to his faith in spite of his circumstances as a boy facing epilepsy. Though he was unable to drive a car when his friends had been driving for many years, he was confident that God would one day heal him to the point where he could drive. But not having a car was not an excuse to not go to church. Jay would get a ride from someone, ride his bike (even during the hot summer months), or take the bus. During the years of waiting, he could have given up on God as so many do, but he persisted in his faith in Christ, believing that God would take care of him. And He did.

Speaking of riding bikes, that was one reason Jay had such strong legs. Jay also had phlebitis in his legs, but he wanted to be part of the activities. I learned quickly that you didn’t get in a towel fight with ‘rattails’ with Jay. Because if you hit his leg he didn’t feel pain, then he would cream you. I learned to get him on my side of a towel war. While he couldn’t jump well in volleyball, but his volleyball serve was powerful and people got out of the way when the ball came at them.

I remember Jay as one who loved personal relationships, both with old and young. Whether bowling with his friends or watching your kids, Jay was always a faithful friend. There are probably many here today who can say that "Jay baby sat my kids". How many of us would babysit children by diving into their world of toys and movies, bringing ourselves down to their level as Jay did with "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory", the "Wizard of OZ", and "the Muppets"? While Jay worked hard to save money, and wasn’t lavish on himself, Jay took the kids he “babysat” to Disneyland, and SeaWorld. He didn’t have much, but he was very generous with what he had.

Jay was always on time, diligent, hardworking, an initiator (calling monthly to make lunch plans with myself and my cousins), loyal and will always be remembered as a life long friend. For my brothers’ family, this meant continued contact, even after moving away from Southern California to Idaho 10 years ago. As many of you know, Jay remembered birthdays. And because personal relationships were important to him, he remembered the smallest details. Not only did Jay know all of my brothers 8 kids birthdays along with my children’s birthdays and extended family as well. Jay knew the smallest details about each family member since personal relationships were important to him.

We all know Jay’s gift for numbers and birthday. When my brother, Steve, moved Jay called and asked for his new address so he could send B-cards. I had to look up his address, when I told him 824 as the street address he said “that’s easy to remember-that’s your mothers birthday (824 or August 24th), & if you take
8+4 = 12 + 2 that equals 12/14, that’s December 14, your uncles birthday. Jay had a way with numbers.

When I asked Jay how he could remember all the birthdays, one of his sayings was:
I’m left handed, and since the left side of the brain controls the right hand, then only left-handed people are in their right mind. I’m the one in who is in their right mind.

Jay’s focus was on his Lord Jesus Christ and his friends. Remembering birthdays was a part of his ministry, a way to be connected, to show he cared. Jay would send birthday and anniversary card, and then follow up with a phone call as well. Jay would drive B-cards for individuals & families to sign so the recipient could feel special with lots of signatures on the card.


It has been said that when you die, you can't take it with you. But Jay invested his life into the two things that mattered most, his Lord and his friends. In my estimation, Jay took it with him. On more than one occasion Jay would get to the point and ask “How do you get rich? When I look around tonight I think I should have been asking Jay that question.

It is my prayer that those gathered here tonight in honor of Jay will see as Jay did what matters most in this life and eternity, your relationship with Jesus Christ and your friends.


Bob, Don, & Steve Kuchenski

Eulogy given by Pat Doocy

I’m not sure when the Doocy family met Jay. Krisha was saying she just always remembered knowing Jay. I only know we met at church sometime ago.

Jay was a very unique character, if you knew Jay he knew your birth date, your anniversary, your kids birth date, as well as your friends birth dates, so I hope my friends will be forgiving when I forget their birthday’s this year. It was amazing how he related the dates together with other dates and events like my son Alec’s birthday 8/16 that’s when Elvis Presley died, or my mom 626 our area code amazing.

Jay was always asking questions about how to improve himself from how do I put together my resume? To do I offend you guys? Do I relate O.K. when I speak to people? He didn’t want to offend anyone, but Jay spoke his mind, often with very little filter before hand, but that was Jay. Jay would wonder and ask us quite often how people could act so cruel to each other and to him at times.

Here are a few funny stories about Jay & the Doocy family. Jay would come to dinner & at times he took us to dinner he would laugh and say you have to take a loan out when you take the Doocy’s to dinner. When we moved he always laughed and said it’s the Beverly Hill Billies, we moved from our little shack in Sierra Madre to our mansion in Glendora complete with our own cement pond. Jay and I use to be on a bowling league together & it never failed that when I’d bowl if I’d throw the ball and miss my shot he’d yell “Yea lady there’s no pins over there” it became a running joke. We’d laugh, that laugh, Jay could get me laughing just by hearing him laugh. I’ll never forget his laugh when he got tickled sometimes by his own jokes. Another way Jay impacted our family and the Kingdom of God was by his selfless giving he came over and helped my daughter’s boyfriend Michael take care of my mother while we were in Lithuania on our missions trip. He took her to dinner, the movies, and loved to help and support us this way.

The last thing I’d like to share about Jay was something Krisha shared about him and we observed, Jay had taken a gorgeous picture of a butterfly on a flower when he was on his cruise to the Panama Canal. You’ll see it later in the slide show. He was so proud of this picture he felt he should have won the picture contest on the cruise. Krisha said Jay was like that picture of the flower often we pass by not noticing the little things, the beautiful things of life maybe because we’re to busy to stop, we don’t want to be bothered to stop, or we purposefully don’t stop or avoid stopping. This is how people acted with Jay at times. Just like Jay’s picture if we don’t take the time to stop and experience God’s creation we will miss out on the beauty & blessing. Thank you Lord for Jay and his life and how You used Jay to touch & bless the Doocy family and many others.

We will miss you Jay dearly.

Jay's Memorial Celebration

Thank you to everyone for joining us tonight at Jay's memorial celebration at Sierra Madre Congregational Church (SMCC).
It was a beautiful service and a great time of celebration and remembrance. It was so wonderful to worship together, hear and share stories about Jay and see so many of his friends and family gathered together.


The service began with SMCC pianist, Bill Lange playing beautiful prelude music as everyone arrived. Pastor Paul Beck opened in prayer and lead us is the hymn, How Great Thou Art.

SMCC Elder and Jay’s longtime friend, Bill Witczak, read from 2 Corinthians 4:16-5:8.

16Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are
wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.
17For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us
an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18So we fix our
eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is
seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 1Now we
know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have
a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by
human hands. 2Meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothed with
our heavenly dwelling, 3because when we are clothed, we will
not be found naked. 4For while we are in this tent, we groan
and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but
to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is
mortal may be swallowed up by life. 5Now it is God who has
made us for this very purpose and has given us the Spirit as
a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come. 6Therefore we are
always confident and know that as long as we are at home
in the body we are away from the Lord. 7We live by faith,
not by sight. 8We are confident, I say, and would prefer to
be away from the body and at home with the Lord.

Pastor Dick Anderson, Jay’s pastor for 35 years at SMCC, gave a biography of Jay’s life.

If you would like to read the text of Jay's biography, please see the previous blog post.

Jay was eulogized by his close friends, Pat Doocy, Don Kuchenski, Gary Jones, Nathan Robison, Bruce Koch, Bob Maile, and Victor Polek.
Victor Polek:

On behalf of our entire family I want to say Thank You for being here tonight and thank you for all the visits, prayer and phone calls for Jay while he was in the hospital – some of you visited several times, and some stayed for hours, and many more called us or checked his email or web site daily. Most of all, we want to say thank you for all the love you have shown to Jay over the 35 years that he has been a part of Sierra Madre Congregational Church. Know that you all, individually and as a community of faith were always near and dear to his heart.

Jay’s mother Betty couldn’t be here tonight. Losing Jay has been an indescribable loss for her and I would ask that you continue to pray for Betty. She wrote a message that I would like to read on her behalf.

“To all of Jay’s dear friends:Our family thanks you all for the love and prayers that you openly expressed to us. The gates of heaven were opened and Jay is in the loving arms of the Lord - No more suffering or pain. God has been the Great Physician, the Rock and the Shepherd to all of us. We will miss Jay now, but we know that he is resting well, and this has been a great comfort.

Love in His name,
Jay’s mom, Betty”

We then had an “open mic” time when a number of other friends shared stories and special thoughts about Jay.

A special memorial DVD was played providing a glimpse back across Jay’s life.

If you would like a copy of this DVD, please email your mailing address to prayersforjay@gmail.com and I will mail you one.

Pastor Paul Beck closed out the service with a message and led us in the hymn, It is Well with My Soul.

Following the service, we had a reception in the fellowship hall. There was a display with pictures of Jay and many of his most important possessions including his key chain collection, Splash Mountain pictures, bowling trophies and journals.

Thank you to everyone who shared during Jay’s service. It was such a treat to hear all of your stories and memories, and to be able to hear about Jay from those who knew him in different ways.

We cannot thank you enough for the love and support you have all shown to us as a family. We could not have made it through this difficult time without you. It has been such an honor to meet and spend time with the many people that Jay knew and loved and impacted so greatly. Thank you for laughing with us and crying with us. Thank you for sitting with us in the hospital. Thank you for visiting and talking to Jay in his last few days. Thank you for loving Jay and for being such a wonderful example of the body of Christ.

Please stay tuned to this blog for the text of some of the eulogies given at the memorial service.

Also, we will be posting information soon about the internment of Jay's ashes at Sierra Madre Pioneer Cemetery.

Please keep in touch!

Christy Polek

Jay's Bio from his memorial celebration

Here is the text of Jay's biography, given by Pastor Dick Anderson at the memorial service on May 15th, 2009.

John Arthur “Jay” Denison was born March 18th 1958, at Arcadia Methodist Hospital, and spent almost his entire life in the Arcadia area.

Jay’s unique association with numbers started on the day he was born. His mother had labored for 39 hours, and Jay was the 39th baby born in what was then Methodist Hospital’s brand new maternity ward. There’s another number 39 associated with his birth, but only Jay remembers what it is!

Jay loved kittens. Growing up, he could never resist a “free kitten” sign. His mom used to tell him “Jay you have got to stop bringing home stray cats!” But, he didn’t stop. Jay loved to collect other things besides kittens. Not expensive things, but things like key chains and pretty rocks, and especially the thousands photos he took. He still has the key chains and the rocks, a great many photo albums, and more framed photographs than the walls of his condo can hold. He loved showing off all his pictures, especially pictures of all the kids he watched over the years. Jay was very proud of how well all of “his” kids grew up. He felt like he’d had a hand in raising them, which he truly did.

Jay overcame many obstacles in his life and was justifiably proud of all his accomplishments. He suffered greatly from epilepsy beginning at about age 12, so he was not able to drive or hold a job for long. But, he didn’t let that stop him. He relied on his bicycle and the public bus to get him where he needed to go. He had the all the bus routes, running times and transfer points memorized – an early example of his amazing ability to remember numbers. Sometimes Jay and his sister Julie would ride a combination of public buses all the way to Magic Mountain or the beach in Malibu. Jay once got a traffic ticket for riding his bicycle with two passengers on board. I would like to have seen a picture of that!

Jay’s school years were not very happy times. Learning was difficult for him and schools could not give him the extra help that he needed. Other kids would tease and make fun of him, so he didn’t have many friends. However, in the late 1970’s, during his teenage years, Jay joined Sierra Madre Congregational Church and found incredible joy in being with a loving and accepting community that was so different than what he experienced in school. He found the love of Christ in his own life and through his adoptive family of SMCC. Jay quickly adapted his gift for remembering numbers by learning everyone’s birthdays, anniversaries, phone numbers, addresses, and even their license plates! It helped Jay to connect with and remember people, and he took great delight in amazing everyone with his memory. He was renowned and beloved for calling up people to say things like, “Don’t forget - your wedding anniversary is in two days. I don’t want you to get in trouble with your wife!” By the way, the family has discovered Jay’s secret method for remembering birthdays and other important dates and is willing to reveal it for $5.00 per person. (Just kidding!)

In his mid-20’s, Jay’s most persistent prayer was answered when he overcame epilepsy. So, in 1987 at the age of 28, he was finally able to get his driver’s license. This was a great triumph for him. Like everyone who earns their driver’s license, Jay felt like he had finally joined the adult world. Being able to drive gave him more confidence, and he treasured the independence it gave him.

We all know how much Jay loved kids. He had many hundreds of childcare jobs over the years and even bought a mini-van so that he could help out the families that he babysat for. Jay was someone you could always depend on. Jay soon graduated from child care to full time employment as a security guard, a job he kept for almost 20 years, much of that for Goudy Honda. He used his entrepreneurial spirit to also become a very busy house and pet sitter. That gave him extra money to buy his own home, own a good car, and travel. He took all of his work seriously and was pleased that people put so much trust in him. He would often have to leave family dinners early to go to his job at Goudy, or to tend to his animals. It didn’t matter if it was Christmas; Jay was determined to be to work on time. In his very last conversation with his sister, from his hospital bed Jay asked Julie to call his boss to say that he was too sick to work.

Jay was determined to be financially independent even though it meant working more than one job. Being able to buy his own condo was very satisfying for him. And, last year he was able to visit Hawaii, and take a 2 week vacation cruise through the Panama Canal, which he said was the highlight of his life.

Jay is loved by all his family and friends. His sudden illness and passing were so unexpected that it is still hard to accept he is gone. He is going to be missed, but we find real comfort in knowing that he is in heaven with our Lord Jesus. It is amazing to see what happens when God’s people come together. Jay’s family has found great comfort, strength and joy from the prayers and presence of the Body of Christ during such a difficult time.

Jay is survived by: Mother - Betty Hause, Sister - Julie Polek, Aunt - Dorothy Kelly, Uncle - Eugene Fischer, Nephew - Kenny Polek, Niece - Christy Polek, Brother-in-law-Victor Polek, and many cousins around the country.

Memorial Celebration

A memorial celebration in honor of Jay's life will be held on

Friday, May 15, 2009 at 7:00pm
at Sierra Madre Congregational Church

The church is located at
170 W. Sierra Madre Blvd.
Sierra Madre, CA 91024

If needed, you can call the church at 626) 355-3566

• We would appreciate having copies of your pictures of Jay for a slide show at the memorial celebration- pictures of Jay with your family, at church events, on outings, etc. to help show the tapestry of Jay's life here on earth. Please email electronic copies to victor.polek@att.net as soon as possible.

Thursday Morning Update

1:00am

Jay received well over two dozen visitors in his room throughout the day, Wednesday, as friends came by to bid him farewell. His nurses commented to me how privileged they felt to be able to hear such loving friends talking to Jay, praying over him and telling funny or touching stories about him. One nurse told me that in 28 years of working at Methodist Hospital, she couldn't recall ever seeing such an outpouring of love from an almost endless procession of well-wishers. She felt blessed to be there and said it did not even feel like she was working.

At 9:00 in the evening, over 50 family and friends gathered in the hospital chapel, filling it to standing room only and into the lobby for an informal prayer service to send Jay on his final journey. Pastors Paul and Dick led us in prayers, and several in attendance prayed aloud as well. A number of people shared joyful remembrances of Jay. We closed in singing Amazing Grace.

Jay's family and pastors then gathered in his room for prayers, a final farewell, then a benediction as we gave him over to the Lord.

Our prayers for a quick and peaceful transition to heaven were answered, as Jay was gone within minutes after his ventilator was removed.

At 11:05 PM, Wednesday, May 6, 2009, John Arthur "Jay" Denison was completely healed by The Great Physician as he stepped into the presence of our Lord Jesus, who surely hugged him saying, "Well Done, Good and Faithful Servant" while the angels and saints sent up a thunderous cheer of welcome.

• Please check back soon for information on a full Memorial Celebration to be held at Sierra Madre Congregational Church.
• We would appreciate having copies of your pictures of Jay for a slide show at the memorial celebration- pictures of Jay with your family, at church events, on outings, etc. to help show the tapestry of Jay's life here on earth. Please email electronic copies to victor.polek@att.net as soon as possible.
• If you would like to send a note of condolence or appreciation for Jay to the family, here are the addresses:

Betty and Kenny Hause (Jay's mom and step-dad)
2305 Fiora
Bishop, California 93514

Julie and Victor Polek, Kenny and Christy (Jay's sister, brother-in-law, nephew and niece)
19761 Futura Drive
Yorba Linda, California 92886

Thank you all again, all over the world, who have been praying for Jay and our family over these difficult days. We have been blessed and sustained by God's grace and your prayers.
Victor Polek

Tuesday Night Update

10:30pm

We held a meeting at 7:00 pm with Jay's primary physician, Dr. Chiu. Jay's mother Betty, sister Julie, and I (Jay's brother-in-law) were present with other family members, along with Jay's Pastor, Paul and Jay's close friend and church Elder, Bill.

In light of Jay's devastating brain injury, Dr. Chiu confirmed that Jay has no real hope for recovery. We discussed Jay's wishes among us. Jay's mom, Betty said that Jay has told her several times that he is not afraid to die because he knows he will be with the Lord. His sister, Julie noted that Jay has always been very proud of his independence and freedom, and would hate to have to be cared for by someone, to not be able to work and to not have his freedom. Jay's good friend, Bill echoed those sentiments, as did others in our family. Dr. Chiu wisely noted that these comments gave him insight as to what Jay's views of the situation would be if he could speak for himself. He observed that our group of 8 was in unison, with no disagreement on our perceptions of what Jay would want for himself.

So, tomorrow we will let go of Jay and allow him to go home to God.

Tomorrow (Wednesday), there will be unlimited visiting allowed to Jay in his ICU room if you would like to stop in to see and pray over him. The only times that visiting cannot be allowed is from 7-8 am and 7-8 pm, as that is the nurses' shift change time and they must have absolute concentration on their work.

Tomorrow night at 9:00 pm there will be a simple prayer service led by Pastor Paul in the chapel of Methodist Hospital (go in the main entrance and ask for directions if you wish to come.) Afterwards, a small group of immediate family will go to be with Jay as they disconnect his life supports. He will remain on a morphine drip to ensure he experiences no pain until the end comes.

If you would like to see Jay tomorrow, please be sure to stop in a say your goodbyes well before the 9:00 pm service. Again, visiting will be allowed all day except during the nurses' shift change, and we are sure many people will want to come by. He is still in an operating ICU and only a few people can go in at a time. Please be patient if the nurses ask you to wait.

Please check back to this web site in a few days for information on funeral services.

THANK YOU ALL for your love and concerns and prayers for Jay and for us. We have been truly overwhelmed by the outpouring of blessings from each and every one of you.

Please pray that Jay will go peacefully, quietly and quickly to our Lord, and especially keep his mother, Betty and sister, Julie in your prayers. While this is hard on all of us, as you can imagine, this is hardest on them.

Victor Polek